In the beginning, there was darkness. And God gazed upon the dark aether and said "Let there be light" and there was light.
And He looked upon the earth and thought: "I'm bored. I know! I'll create life" and there was life, from the smallest paramecium through the greatest whale.
And he did look upon his creation and thought: "Well this is no good. These things are just acting on instinct. Where's the drama? I know: I'll Create a new species with with consciousness but leave a couple of screws loose so its behaviour is completely irrational and unpredictable!" and thus Man became flesh.
And he did look upon his creation and thought: "God, what a sausage fest..." and did say "hey Adam! Yeah you - the ugly one. Come here for a sec!" and dids't forcibly remove one of Adam's ribs for use as construct material for the female of the species whilst Adam thought "Dude, could you not have let there be some kind of anaesthetic or something? This *$#king hurts!"
And the Lord did say: "Let there be chicks, but let them be curvier and hormonally imbalanced so as to cause greater drama to my creation" and there was chicks. Plenty of chicks. Adam got distracted from his pain.
And the Lord said "I'm relatively pleased with my efforts thus far. You kids go nuts and procreate and like, populate the land and all that." and so it was for several thousand years...
Until one day in the latter portion of the 20th century Anno Domini, when the Lord looked upon the vast expanse of the earth and thought: "There are way too many ugly chicks here. What the hell happened? I'd better do something." and he did command "Let there be AUDREY!!!"
And the good Lord did look down upon His blessed creation Audrey and did say: "Yeah... That BlackAdder dude's gonna totally dig this one."
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